


GenderFear

by Burning_hot_pan



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: genderqueer!Reggie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burning_hot_pan/pseuds/Burning_hot_pan
Summary: Reggie tries coming out as genderqueer to Sunset Curve back in 1995. Alex helps him through it.
Relationships: Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 125





	GenderFear

Reggie took a shaky deep breath to calm themself down. 

Everything is going to be okay. They’re my friends, my bandmates. My only family. They’ll understand. Everything will be okay. 

“Hey Reg, you okay?” Alex tentatively put his hand on Reggie’s shoulder. Sunset Curve was straightening up after an evening rehearsal. All of the boys had sweat running from their foreheads and were still out of breath. That must also be why Reggie’s heart was racing and their hands were clammy.

“What? Oh- yeah. Just…” When in doubt, play dumb. “Just thinking about what I’m gonna be for Halloween. It’s a difficult choice, I don’t want to mess it up!” Reggie tried for their usual dopey smile, but it obviously didn’t work as well as they hoped.

Alex gave them a concerned look, clearly not fooled, before saying, “Okay. If you say so.” 

Reggie took another deep breath, steeling themself, and then turned to the rest of the band. “Actually, there’s something I was hoping to talk to you guys about.”

“Yeah, wassup, Reginald?” Luke asked, but he was clearly preoccupied with putting his guitar away. Same with Bobby, who was obviously listening, but was fidgeting with his case with his back turned to the group.

Why was this so daunting? These three people cared more about Reggie than anyone else in the world, and Reggie felt the same way about them. If anyone was to understand what Reggie was going through and accept them, it was their band. But maybe that was why they were so hesitant and nervous; more than anything, Reggie didn’t want to lose these friendships. Reg already felt constantly out of the loop, and they knew their dumb comments sometimes embarrased the rest of the group. So what if this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and the band decided to distance themselves from Reggie? What if this was the thing that finally made Reggie too weird? What if they were kicked out of Sunset Curve? Reggie couldn’t lose their friends and their music all at once! Especially now, when there was constant fighting at home. And if their closest friends wouldn’t even accept them, why would anyone ever accep-

“Reginald,” Alex said quietly, but firmly. “How about we take a walk?” He obviously recognized Reggie’s spiraling.

Reggie nodded. Alex took their hand, guiding them outside, and announced to the other boys, “Hey, dudes, we’ll be back in a minute. Finish cleaning up without us.”

Luke was about to protest, but softened when he saw Reggie’s face. “Yeah, sure. Just be sure to let us know what costume you decide on, Reg.” Reggie gave him a thumbs up and a tight-lipped smile in response before they exited the garage.

Alex led Reggie to a bench, and the two just sat there for a little bit as Reggie calmed down, Alex still holding their hand. 

After a few minutes, Alex cautiously opened his mouth to talk. “Hey, bud. If you want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

No response. Reggie didn’t know how to respond. They wanted to tell Alex, but it was like their mouth was glued shut. They couldn’t even look at him.

“I know your parents aren’t really… getting along. Are you freaking out about that?”

Reggie shook their head. They felt tears starting to well up. No, they weren’t going to cry. Not here, not now. But Reggie’s eyes disobeyed their thoughts, and before they knew it, two streams of tears were running down their face.

“Oh, hey, Reg, it’s all gonna be okay. Alright?” Alex gave them an awkward side hug, clearly feeling a little out of his element. Reggie supposed it was because they rarely cried in front of him. They loved Alex, but they were always a little closer with Luke than they were with the other two boys. 

Alex, probably thinking the same thing, said, “Hey, listen, Reg, I just want to help. But would it be better if I grabbed Luke instead?”

“No.” It came out like a croak. Reggie cleared their throat and shook their head. They were going to say it now. Alex of all people would understand. It will be ok. “No. Thanks, Alex. Um… Can I tell you something?”

“Please, yes. Only if you want to, though.” Alex turned so that he was sitting cross-legged on the bench. Reggie followed suit.

Another deep breath. “Okay, so you know how you and Luke both like boys?”

“Well, yeah, but- Wait, Reggie, are you gay?”

“What?! No. I mean, I don’t-” Reggie shook their head, yet again. “Not what I’m saying, Alex.”

“Okay…” Alex gave them a look, like he didn’t quite believe them, but let Reggie continue.

“Okay so, you know how you only like boys, but Luke likes boys and girls?”

“Yeah?”

“And when explaining it to me and Bobby, you guys said it was like… a scale. And there was more than ‘straight’ and ‘gay’?

“...Yeah?” Alex obviously had no idea where Reggie was going with this.

“And then you told me about people who switch genders?”

“Uh, yeah, Reggie. You want to tell me what’s up?”

This was it. They could do it. One last deep breath. “So… what if… whatifsomeonethoughttheywerebisexualbutlikeinagenderway??”

Alex looked more confused than ever. “What do you mean?”

Oh no. Alex had no idea what they were talking about. And Alex knew pretty much everything about this kind of stuff. What if they were the only person who ever felt like this?

Alex, seeing Reggie start to panic again, said “No, Reg, really, I just don’t know what you’re trying to say. Could you try to explain it a different way?”

Okay, fine. Reggie needed a few more deep breaths. “What if someone felt transgender, but in a bisexual way?”

Obviously this did not help Alex’s confusion. 

“Like, what if someone felt like not a girl or a boy, but somewhere else on the scale?”

A look of understanding flashed across Alex’s face. “Oh! You mean like genderqueer!?”

Wait. “What’s that?” Was Reggie not alone?

Alex’s face lit up, just like it always did when someone was interested in gay culture. “So, I was skimming through this newsletter that came out a few weeks ago. One article used the word ‘genderqueer’ to describe people who don’t have a gender or people who have a complex gender. Oh, I forget the author’s name. I think their last name was Wilchins? Anyway, the article was really interesting, and-” 

Reggie was giving Alex an amused smirk. That dork would go on forever if you let him.

Alex smiled. “Sorry, you were saying?”

Reggie looked down, their feelings conflicting each other. One the one hand, there was an actual word for what they were feeling! And more than that, there seemed to be other people who felt the same way! On the other hand, they still had to tell Alex, and they were in too deep to back out now. And Alex might be all chill with this in theory, but would he feel the same way when it’s his friend? No, Alex wasn’t like that. Luke wasn’t like that. Bobby wasn’t like that. This was the last deep breath Reggie was going to have to take. They looked up at Alex.

“I’m genderqueer.”


End file.
